


Pity Party for Three

by Loveislove87



Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: Angst, Bromance, Fluff, M/M, Post canon, science friends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-28
Updated: 2020-01-28
Packaged: 2021-02-27 06:41:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,341
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22442749
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Loveislove87/pseuds/Loveislove87
Summary: Alex has no idea how to get back up now that he's fallen, but with some help from his friends, he's gonna try.
Relationships: Alex Manes & Kyle Valenti, Max Evans/Liz Ortecho, Michael Guerin & Liz Ortecho, Michael Guerin/Alex Manes
Comments: 10
Kudos: 93
Collections: RNM Fanfic Remix 2020





	Pity Party for Three

**Author's Note:**

  * For [8Verity8](https://archiveofourown.org/users/8Verity8/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Pity Party for Two](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20673812) by [8Verity8](https://archiveofourown.org/users/8Verity8/pseuds/8Verity8). 



“You know I like you, right? Like, a lot?”

Alex tilted his head toward Kyle, eyebrow raised in both suspicion and confusion. “I’m sorry. Are you coming out right now?”

Kyle’s forehead crunched before he huffed out a laugh and shook his head.

“No, no, that’s not what I meant.” He rubbed the back of his neck and stood, awkwardly moving across the cabin floor. They’d taken to spending more time together, away from files and prisoner numbers and their fathers’ villainous legacies. Kyle always wanted to go out; a new bar or restaurant, maybe a concert. But Alex just didn’t feel comfortable; he didn’t feel the same anymore. He’d grown to find comfort and peace in his cabin over the last year, taking on DIY projects and enjoying his slice of peace in a world he’d grown to fear.

Kyle muted the TV and, with his hands on his hips, looked Alex square in the eye. “This isn’t living, Alex. It’s functional depression.”

Alex let out a sound of disbelief and gently moved a sleeping Buffy off his lap, standing and stretching in disinterest. “That’s ridiculous. Because I don’t wanna eat at the Crashdown every week I’m suddenly ill?”

“Don’t be dramatic, you know that’s not what I mean!”

Alex rolled his eyes and headed into the kitchen for something to do. He wanted to hide his face from his friend; make sure Kyle couldn’t see how close to the truth he really was.

After the devastation, hearing about the love of his life and his best friend, Alex had thrown himself into the Alien Cause as he liked to think of it. He reupped in the service, spent his free time hacking and pouring over files. He told himself he was obligated, that he owed it to Michael, Isobel and Max to keep them safe and to get them as much information as he could. The truth was that it was the perfect distraction and a spectacular excuse.

Can’t go to dinner, have to be at the base.

Can’t go for those drinks, the files are waiting.

Can’t make movie night, finally hacked that server.

Sometimes it was the truth. He’d spend so long in front of a computer screen or staring at notes from a dusty, yellowed box, his eyes would blur, and he’d have to go to bed. But other nights, he hid behind his excuses and spent time alone, lost in thought with nothing but the comfort of Buffy’s quiet snores by his side. He couldn’t handle being a part of the group anymore. He didn’t know where he fit.

More than once, he’d accidentally bumped into Michael and Maria in town. The conversations were stilted, and the energy was stifling. Maria did what she could to try making Alex comfortable, but it didn’t make a difference. If he had to see Michael with anyone else, let alone Maria, his brain just shut down, the walls came up and Joe Military made his inevitable appearance.

He had tried talking to Liz and Kyle about it all. His timing had been absolute shit with Liz, walking in after she’d had a fight with Rosa. She could barely focus on anything he was saying and, anytime he tiptoed into Maria territory, Liz made it perfectly clear how happy she was for their friend finding love, how deserved it was.

Kyle just offered to punch Guerin in the face on a weekly basis.

The anxiety and, truthfully, dread he felt when he left the house, worrying that he’d see Michael and Maria together, or run into Rosa, or say the wrong thing to Liz, had kept him home more often than not.

“Alex. Alex!”

He turned to see Kyle staring at him, arms stretched to the sides and a look of exasperation on his face.

With a painful finger jab to the chest, he said, “you’re hiding and it’s bullshit.”

He sighed when Alex refused to meet his eye and pulled a hand through his hair.

“You’re my best friend, Alex. This,” he gestured to the space around them, “is not _all_ there is. Get back out there. Take your fucking life back!”

Kyle waited a second and Alex watched the moment he forfeited, his shoulders slumping in sadness. He pulled on his coat and slipped into his shoes, then walked to Alex with kindness practically shining off him. Pulling Alex in by the neck, Kyle wrapped him up tightly, only for a few seconds, and whispered, “you’re loved. We’re all a bit selfish right now, but you’re loved.”

With a dramatic kiss to the cheek and a light smack to the face for good measure, Kyle was walking out the door.

_Fucking Kyle_ , Alex thought. _No one should be that attractive_ and _kind._

********

It had taken him a few days to build up enough courage to go see Liz. Michael had Maria, Rosa had Arturo now and Kyle had his mom, but Liz had been secluding herself more and more from the outside world, spending most of her time in the lab.

The first step out of the cabin was the hardest, the agoraphobia surprising as his heart rate increased, and the nausea rose. Once he was seated safely in his Jeep, he took a deep breath and let muscle memory take over.

Now, as he made his way slowly into the Crashdown, planning to pick up some lunch for the two of them, he was quietly rehearsing what to say.

“I’m sorry I haven’t been here. I miss you.”

He stopped for a minute and blinked a few times, alarmed by how overwhelmed he was feeling.

_Did you miss me?_

He shook his head and cleared his throat, hands digging deeper into his jacket pockets. He stopped when he noticed a familiar head of curls sitting across from an equally familiar head of dark hair. They were both bent over the table, eating their food and laughing a bit.

He stood at the counter, afraid to make a move and be seen.

“You’re thinking too hard, Guerin. Just think about your biggest failure, your biggest fuck up…what’s the first thing that pops into your head?”

“Alex.”

He was pretty sure he was going to pass out. He braced himself against the cool counter and tried to stay calm.

“I mean, that’s not what- “

Of course, he didn’t mean that.

“First thought, Michael. No take backs.”

Alex held his breath.

“Fine.”

God. Alex didn’t realize how much he missed the sound of Michael’s voice. Smooth but laced with cleverness. Gentle but sharp.

“So. Why is Alex your biggest failure?”

He shifted his weight slightly. He felt a bit guilty listening into their conversation but the anxiety of not knowing what else Michael would say won out.

“Alex isn’t.”

“But you said--“

“ _I’m_ a failure when it comes to Alex.”

Alex gasped and tried to subtlety clear his throat for cover.

“When it comes to a relationship with him, or anything. I always fuck it up. Alex isn’t a fuck up, he’s everything, but I can’t seem to stop fucking things up with him. Love isn’t supposed to be this hard is it?”

Alex gripped the edge of the counter as tightly as he could, knuckles white and fingers protesting the pressure. He was afraid if he didn’t keep his hands occupied, he’d storm over and kiss the life out of Michael.

“You’re asking me? I accused Max of destroying Rosa, and for turning my family into a target! I’m in love with him and I was finally okay with that, I was accepting Rosa’s death, accepting the guilt. I was moving on… but he was still carrying all that bullshit. All that guilt, and I didn't know! He never would have done what he did if I hadn’t said those things. This, _all_ of this, is my fault!”

Alex’s heart broke for Liz. Regret washed over him; all the months he’d hid away from town. He didn’t know what he could have done, how he could have made it better. But he could have tried to be there for his friend. Who was the crappy one now?

Through her sobs, Alex heard Michael gently comforting her. “This isn’t on you, Liz. Seriously, Max has a savior complex that would put Jesus to shame at the best of times, and he wasn’t thinking clearly that night. He healed my hand even though I was telling him not too… he just wouldn’t listen. He probably got it into his head that everything would be solved, the past ten years, all if it, if he could just bring Rosa back. That’s not on you Liz, that’s on all of us, especially him.”

Alex bit his lip, struggling to contain the smile trying to peek through. Michael may have the rough and dirty cowboy image down to a science, but at the end of the day, he’d always been kind and thoughtful. And, thankfully, a good friend.

“You think so?” Liz sounded so small and tired. He hoped Michael was holding her hand.

“Yes, and I plan to give him an earful as soon as we get him back for being a complete and utter fucking idiot, trust me. Because we _are_ going to get him back Liz. You and I are going to figure this out. And then we’re going to kill him… metaphorically speaking of course.”

Alex laughed at that before remembering himself and cupping his hand over his mouth. Luckily his laugh was covered by Liz’s.

“Thanks, I needed that.”

Alex glanced up and caught his reflection in the metal décor. He could do better than this. For everyone.

For himself.

“What are you going to do about Alex?” He tuned back into the conversation when he heard his name.

“One problem at a time, Liz. Let’s just focus on getting through the Max issue for now, yeah?”

Alex felt himself physically deflate. Of course, he was still a problem. Michael may love him but not in a way that would let them be together, to be happy. And Maria was the one making Michael happy now, anyway. No point in being ridiculous.

“Come on then, let’s get back to work.”

Alex stood stone-still until Michael and Liz headed out the door, Liz laughing as Michael threw an arm around her shoulder. He released a breath and fell onto one of the stools, head in his hands and a weight in his chest.

Buffy and his bed were all he needed, really.

*********

“I heard you went to the Crashdown the other day!”

It was another Friday and Kyle had been ready to take Alex out on the town after hearing from Arturo that he’d popped in for some food.

“Hmm?”

“Arturo told me you had lunch there. That’s good, Alex!”

He huffed and rolled his eyes. “Don’t patronize me, Kyle.”

With concern on his face, Kyle plopped next to Alex on the couch and handed over a cup of coffee.

“I wasn’t trying to be. That was genuine.” He shrugged and Alex glanced at him from the corner of his eye. He could read Kyle like a book nowadays and he was telling the truth. “I’m just glad you got out.”

Alex put his laptop on the table in front of him and pushed himself into the corner of the sofa, cradling the coffee and taking comfort from its warmth.

“It wasn’t great, to be honest.”

Kyle clutched his chest and gasped. “Arturo’s food wasn’t good?”

Alex almost spit out his coffee. Coughing, he shook his head. “Are you kidding? It was fucking phenomenal. I meant the trip itself wasn’t great.” He stared at his drink and debated telling Kyle the whole truth. He’d spent the last week falling back into comfortable habits and well-worn routines, Michael’s words rolling through his head over and over. The disappointment and sadness were crushing sometimes.

“I, uh,” he cleared his throat and took another sip, gathering his thoughts. “I went there to pick up some food for Liz. I figured I’d start with her, try to rebuild what we used to have, you know?” Kyle nodded, turning in his seat and tucking his legs under him so he could look directly at Alex.

“When I got there, though, she was already there with Michael and I overheard some of their conversation.”

Kyle’s eyebrows raised. “Okay? What did they say?”

Alex sighed and stalled by taking a long drink. Kyle kicked him lightly and after a dramatic, “ow,” he kept going. “I don’t know. Guerin said I was his biggest failure. Or, uh, he failed in relation to me, I guess? He said he kept messing up and something about love but then Liz started talking about…” Alex noted the look in Kyle’s eye and decided to spare him. “They changed the subject and the last thing I heard was that he didn’t have time to deal with me so—" Alex hoped the last part came off as flippant as he was hoping.

“So…what are you thinking?”

Alex bit his lip and shook his head. “What do you mean?”

Kyle laughed. “I mean. He’s admitting he messed up. He’s saying that, at the very least, he’s loved you at some point. What are you gonna do about it?”

Alex played with the drawstring of his sweats and shrugged. “What c _an_ I do? He’s with Maria now. I’m not messing that up.”

“Incorrect.”

Alex looked up so fast he heard his neck crack. “Excuse me?”

“Well, I’d like to remind you in all this Guerin drama that your initial goal was to work on your friendship with Liz. Then, I’d like to inform you, which, by the way? This is proof that you’re, like, a fucking recluse now because the whole town—”

“Kyle!”

He jumped a bit and spilled some coffee of his shirt, laughing at himself. “They broke up, man.”

Alex felt his jaw drop and his hand tighten around the mug. “When?”

Kyle scratched his forehead. “Um. Maybe two, three weeks ago?”

Alex nodded. “Here, gimmie your cup,” he offered helpfully, making a motion to Kyle to hand over his mug. As soon as it was firmly in his hand, he kicked Kyle as hard as he could, his friend landing with a thud and a crazed laugh on the floor.

“How could you not tell me that earlier, you ass?”

Kyle was holding his side and having a hard time staying upright. “I thought you knew! I figured the first thing one of them would do would be to reach out to you! I bet they’re both too afraid.”

Alex stood and walked over to the kitchen, placing the cups in the sink and running the water. “Why would they be afraid? Afraid of what?”

Kyle stood up and bumped Alex out of the way. He grabbed a paper towel and tried cleaning off the stain on his shirt. “Afraid of you, dude. If it were me, and I’d done that shit? I’d be afraid you’d either kill me or never forgive me.”

With the water running and the sound of dog nails tapping across the floor signaling dinner time, Alex closed his eyes and groaned.

“I have no idea what I’m doing.”

Kyle turned off the water and opened the fridge, scratching his stomach as he nudged Buffy with his foot to keep her from diving into the food. “Start with Liz. Go from there.”

**********

“Hi.”

Liz jumped with a yelp and Alex cringed. Scare the scientist holding the priceless alien stuff. Great start.

“Alex. What are you doing here? You okay?”

He smiled, feeling awkward and nodded, lifting his hands to reveal two grease-soaked paper bags.

“I come bearing gifts. Are you able to take a break? I’d like to talk.”

Liz removed her goggles and seemed to eye him up. He shifted uncomfortably and looked around the lab, waiting for her to pass any necessary judgement. But she just smiled and walked toward him, grabbing one of the bags.

“I can always break for you and burgers, my friend.”

*******

The conversation with Liz had been shockingly easy. He apologized for his absence. She apologized for unintentionally ignoring his feelings. She cried a bit while he held her tight, exhausted after telling Alex everything she’d tried attempting to get Max back and having it all, thus far, fail. He confessed to eavesdropping on her conversation with Michael and she surprised him when she encouraged Alex to talk to him.

He finally made it to the airstream days after reconciling with Liz and after literal hours of pacing the cabin, talking himself in to and out of going at all. He’d changed his outfit more times than he’d ever admit and even started and turned off the car more than once.

On his way over he did everything he could to try focusing on the future, trying to leave the past in the past. He was disappointed when he arrived at Michael’s to find his truck gone and the airstream dark, but he could wait.

He’d done it before.

About an hour later, the sky now black with a gorgeous splattering of bright stars, Michael’s truck rolled up, a cloud of dust announcing his arrival before the truck itself even appeared.

With a deep breath, Alex stood up and straightened his outfit. He’d been thinking about what to say and how to say it, finally feeling confident, until he heard the light laugh of a woman.

“Alex.”

Michael said his name with a breathlessness that made him weak. He looked up and saw Michael standing a few feet away, a look of surprise on his face, and a woman who looked vaguely familiar, next to him, holding onto his arm.

Alex laughed a little and shook his head, rubbing his face with his hands. He hoped it covered the debilitating sadness he felt.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have come.” He looked up again and saw the confusion on Michael’s face. “I-I should have-you have a guest. I didn’t realize—"

Alex didn’t know what to do. He wouldn’t be able to survive watching Michael fall into bed with one person after another again. He barely made it through the last time.

He dug his shaking hands into his pockets with a wet sigh and started to move toward his Jeep, head determinedly down and shoulders so tense he immediately started to ache.

“Stop.”

His tunnel vision had been so impressive he didn’t hear Michael running over to him. His strong hands were gripping Alex’s biceps, crinkling the leather of his jacket. It was the first time they’d touched in months. When he looked up, he found Michael’s golden eyes concerned and nervous.

“Don’t go,” Michael said quietly, with a slight tremor. With his rough hands, he moved a callused thumb across Alex’s cheek and wiped away a tear. Alex was grateful it was dark, so he had some hope of hiding the blush that Michael left with his touch. “Let me bring her home and then we’ll talk. I want to talk.”

Alex shook his head and sniffed, embarrassed and feeling vulnerable, unable to stop his defenses from rising. “I don’t want to ruin your night.”

Michael laughed and took hold of Alex’s face with both hands. “Are you kidding me, Private? Just coming here, you made my fucking year.”

Alex laughed and nodded, wiping his nose with his jacket sleeve with as much dignity as he could muster.

Without moving a muscle, Michael said, “I’m going to bring her home and then I’m gonna come right back here. To you. Okay?”

Alex smiled. This was it. This was the beginning, the fresh start he never thought he’d be given. Taking his chances, he leaned forward and gently pressed his lips against Michael’s, hands resting on his chest and taking comfort in the accelerated beat he felt reverberate through his hand. Alex pulled away with a grin, his forehead pressed against Michael’s.

“I’ll be here. I’m going nowhere.”

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed! I had a blast with this :)


End file.
